Blind warm up

So here I am looking or can I even say that? I'm a blind person wondering how life is, wondering about my surroundings, wondering how I have to deal with everyone looking at me or not. But what is looking? I heard it was staring through your eyes? Well I could never do that because the fact that I’m blind would I quote “would freak people out” I mean how am I supposed to know what’s going on, I mean I try my best. So now I'm in this room waiting for someone to pick me up. Its a little nerve racking actually, I mean it’s my first time in this building? I mean how else am I supposed to feel about the unknown? But then again I guess I am used to it. Everything is always dark for me. I don’t see shadows I don’t see light and I don’t see anything in between. Now how is this possible for me to comprehend these concepts when I can’t even see them? This idea about light and sight and everything that deals with vision, that I don’t have, how am I supposed to be put on par with everyone who can? Why do I have to be the one that had to be deprived of this thing that everyone else just assumes that they get? It’s just not fair and I don’t understand why I have to be this person who has to deal with this. I feel so alone, that I don’t how to deal with this. I mean my parents they do care and they do try really hard, (I bet they are used to me now) but the fact that I’m this burden to them and that they will never understand the way I think and the way I feel. I guess I am just alone. And according to this phrase that I have heard, I’m swimming in my own darkness.